Thursday, December 30, 2010

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Four Chord Song

Uh huh.
(Contains one or two curses)

Thanks Olivia.

Thursday, November 4, 2010

My Life: Part 3 - It's raining out.

It's Thursday. You know what that means: it's raining out. Well I guess that's more of a coincidence. But still, how do you explain it?

I'm getting sick of the songs on my iPod. It's like that friend that you spend too much time with and can't stand anymore. It's not that you don't like him, it's just that you want something new. One is silver and the other gold.

It's interesting how some words rhyme with each other and some don't. I guess that's no so interesting.

I like products whose names are also the directions: spray paint. Jump rope.

I wouldn't call myself a procrastinator. At least not yet.

That's it folks. Good night. Go home.

Sunday, October 24, 2010

Finally - A Jewish YouTube Star

You saw it here first.
See his other videos here.

If you know who this is, please email me here

Thursday, October 21, 2010

My Life: Part 2 - Is Anyone Reading This?

So last week wasn’t so bad. I wonder what will happen if I keep doing this. Will my brain hit a dead end like Will Truman hitting the end of the world in The Truman Show? That was a good reference. I’ll give myself that. It’s only 8:41AM and I’m already feeling good about myself.

What is everyone always text messaging about? Sometimes I feel like the whole world is planning to play a giant prank on me, communicating through texting. Does that make me paranoid? I don’t think so! What was that? I just heard something.

When will Microsoft Word recognize that texting is a real world? Update your dictionary Bill Gates - this isn’t Microsoft ‘95.

If I were a train conductor, I’d probably complain about the uniform. The hats just seem a little unnecessary; it’s rarely ever that sunny on a train.

I’m not afraid to admit that I’m never entirely sure about when to use a semi-colon or if I’m using it correctly. On the other hand, I have mastered the use of the .period

My paragraphs are really short today. At best, they look more like run on sentences.

It’s fun to look at what other people are reading on the train and subway. But they seem to get annoyed when I read along. Out loud. Especially when it’s a crossword puzzle. It’s fun to whisper the answer and then look away.

Editors note: Do you guys enjoy these posts? Think they're funny? dumb? Leave a comment, brotha.

Man vs. Machine: Bowling

If only we had this on our bowling team in high school.

Tuesday, October 12, 2010

Armless Pianist Wins China's Got Talent

"Lost his arms from an accident at age 10, Liu Wei from Beijing never gives up living strong. He managed to do everything with his feet and started to learn to play piano at age 19. His dream is to become a musician. He is now 22 and just won the China's Got Talent Show on Oct. 10, 2010. In the final, he played piano and sang the song "You Are Beautiful", perhaps his vocal is not the best render of this song, but the power and inspiration of his zest for life won him the final. "

Sunday, October 10, 2010

Thursday, October 7, 2010

My Life: What were to happen if I just started typing?

Editors Note: I am starting a new series that will run every Thursday called "My Life." As you'll learn, it's very random and doesn't necessarily have to do with my life. If you enjoy it, share it with someone you love or hate. And as always, leave a freakin' comment.

What were to happen if I just started typing? Where would my mind take me? This is a fun experiment. The challenge is keeping up with my mind since I'm not such a fast typer, especially on an iPad. Ok I think that's it. My mind has gone blank. I'm not sure if it's because I'm tired or too self-conscious about what I'm typing. Oh no, I just used the word self-conscious. I'm very self-conscious about using that word.

One paragraph - that's not so bad. I don't know how people write books. I think writers are just really shy loud people.

New topic - I hate when people stand in bad places. For example: standing in doorways or in front of any food table. Do these people not realize they're in a bad spot? Get out of my way! Don't they get the hint when everyone growls "excuse me." Can you not find another place to carry on your desperate attempt at a conversation? And one last thing: don’t stand in front of or behind my car and then complain when I hit you.

I feel bad for people whose natural face looks like they're angry. I feel bad but I still laugh at the thought when I see them. Because I know they're just relaxing or spacing out and yet everyone is looking at them and thinking "what are you so upset about?"

I want to try and fill up a page. I think then I'll feel like I accomplished something today. Who said accomplishing something today would be easy? Maybe I should try a smaller piece of paper. Or a larger font.

I’m having writer’s block. I'm not entirely sure what that is but it sounds like a legitimate excuse. It is either that or a stomachache and the former seems more plausible.

If I were a horse I would dress up as a zebra and see if anyone noticed.

Sunday, October 3, 2010

Why it Makes More Sense to Wear Sweatshirts in the Summer

It’s that time of the year again: sweater season (or sweatshirt season, depending on your income). This can be kind of a big deal. But not for me. That’s because I know no season that’s not sweater season. In fact, I think it makes more sense to wear sweatshirts in the summer months than in the winter months.

If you’re like me, you’re awkward, good-looking, and popular. But even if you’re not like me, you may spend just as much time indoors as me. In fact, in a typical 24-hour day, I spend an average of 10 minutes outdoors (walking to and from my car). That comes out to .6% of a day. I spend more time tying my shoes then I do outdoors, and my shoes don’t even have laces.

I love the great indoors – the artificial feel of a climate-controlled room; the smell of fresh cookies baking from the outlet; the comfort of standing on a plush rug that lays atop an even plusher carpet.

The thing about the indoors is that it is usually the inverse temperature of the outdoors. So for the winter months, the heat is blasting inside and it’s as hot as my laptop gets when I use it on my bed – you would be crazy to wear a sweater. In the summer, the cold air is flowing from the air conditioner like wind on a cold winter day – the perfect time for a zip-up hoodie.

Secondly, wearing sweatshirts in the summer is really cool and a great way to get attention, especially if you’re looking for people to tell you that you look hot (oh my gosh I can’t even look at you). When it comes down to it, wearing a sweatshirt to the beach is as hip as wearing sunglasses at night or a blackberry around your ankle.

And that’s why it makes more sense to wear sweatshirts in the summer.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Four Things

1. Is he singing in english?
2. His hairstyle would never fly in America.
3. What is up with that female judge?
4. How unenthusiastic is the crowd and how weird is their clapping?

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Stranger in a Strange Land

Someone just came over to me and said "I saw your blog - what's it called - 'A miserable disaster?'"

Tuesday, September 21, 2010

Flying As Usual

So I finally made it to Israel but not without some glitches.

As usual, I brought one suitcase for myself and one for someone else. As usual my housekeeper packed the one for someone else (ok, she packed both). As usual, I had absolutely no idea what was in bag #2. As usual, when security asked me who packed the bags, I told them that I did (I'm not falling for that!).

My usual routine was working until after I put both my bags through the x-ray and the security person came over to me. "What's in the red suitcase?" she asked. Of course, I had no idea what was in bag #2, so as usual, I went to backup plan: act dumb (or more specifically, get them to let me open the bag). "They're both red, so I can't tell you what's in that bag," I smartly responded.

"Are there books in the bag?"
"Umm...yes." (I couldn't tell if this was a test)
"How many?"
"A few."
"How many?"
"Like three...or five."
"How thick are the books?"
"They're just like regular book thickness"
"Are there some type of large liquid bottles in the bag?"
"Ya, I think so" (Again, I didn't know if this was a test) - "Can I just open the bag?"

Finally she let me open the bag, which contained neither books nor any type of bottles.

But by far the weirdest part of the whole trip was on the customs line in Israel when old chinese women started petting stranger's kids.


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Yom Kippur & Me

Another year, another Yom Kippur. A time to pray, a time to reflect, a time to starve. This year I decided to try a new approach. I would daven at three different places. At night I davened at a Yeshiva; In the morning at a shul; and in the afternoon at someone's house who had a minyan for an organization dedicated to helping young people find themselves (that's the best way I can put it). The one thing they all had in common was uncomfortable chairs.

Despite being the worst day of the year for me, I'm positive that it's the best day for kids. You get to do whatever you want all day while your parents are busy in Shul. This usually entails running around the shul with as much candy and snacks as you can possibly fit into the knapsack you brought along with you. Also, forget having to brush your teeth or wash your hands and face - no, no, this is Yom Kippur. And don't forget - you get to wear a suit with sneakers. How cool?

Yom Kippur really is a day of reflection and looking ahead. I can tell you personally that I reflected on all the best things I ate this past year and all the things that I'd like to eat this coming year (things I didn't even know I liked).

There were some surprising moments also. Like this morning when I realized that it was also Shabbos. Or on my way to mincha when I realized I was wearing my leather Shabbos shoes.

I'm already counting down the days till next year.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

A Good Thing

It's a good thing dreams aren't real because otherwise I'd be in a mental institution. I spent a half hour last night arguing with an eight year-old police officer who gave me a speeding ticket.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

McNuggets Rampage

Even more insane.

("A Toledo woman, Melodi Dushane, loves McNuggets. According to a Toledo police report, she loves them so much that when she found out a local McDonald's was not serving them at 6:30 AM (that's breakfast menu time, sister), she became outraged and punched the drive-thru attendant.")

Nadal and Djokovic playing Soccer Tennis

This is ridiculous.

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Sunday, August 1, 2010

Baby Goat on Trampoline

The weird part is that they have a goat in their house.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Friday, July 16, 2010

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

HP - HIt Print

A new twist on stop motion films.

Thanks Tani.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Grandpa Dancing to Lady Gaga

It's not often we see an old person getting attention on YouTube.

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Somewhere in the Gulf

Bird 1: Is that gel in your hair?
Bird 2: No. Oil.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Fonts

Times New Roman: What about Arial?
Helvetica: She's not my type.

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Viral


Talk about a viral video. This video had 36,000 hits on Tuesday. Two days later it has over 8 million views.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Must See

Click here to see where you rank on the global rich list.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

Monday, April 26, 2010

Monday, April 19, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sunday, April 11, 2010

Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader - Passover Edition


I know it's a little bit late but here it is.

Thanks Tani.

I know it's a little bit late but here it goes.

Thanks Tani.

Thursday, March 25, 2010

Content-Aware Fill Sneak Peek

Anyone who uses Photoshop will find this really cool. Anyone who doesn't might still find it cool.

Thanks Jeremy.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Sunday, February 14, 2010

Crazy Math

Anyone have an explanation?

Thanks Tani.

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

T-SHIRT WAR!! (stop-motion music video)

Really cool - must have taken a lot of work.

Thanks Kenny

PS22 Chorus "ONE DAY" Matisyahu

Not their best, but Matisyahu is Jewish so it makes it blogable.

Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Thursday, January 28, 2010

New Way of Bowling


I've invented a new way of bowling: You play with the bumpers and see who can get the lowest score. What do you think?

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

NCSY Movie

I made this video that they showed at the Q. What do you guys think?

Thursday, January 14, 2010

World's Most Talented Man

Definitely talented but i'm not sure how practical it is.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

Sunday, January 10, 2010